I watched Mulan because I wanted to tell my family how it was, and I would never want to watch it again even if Disney paid ME $30

 From a cultural aspect, Mulan was racist, inaccurate, and just- embarrassing. This movie is an embodiment of every Asian stereotype in America added with a dash of American "never-give up" ideals. All the cast tries their best to speak with an American accent, which makes no sense. The late Chadwick Boseman (RIP) set an amazing example when playing his part of T'challa in Black Panther, explaining later on to Jimmy Kimmel the importance of using his accent in the film, proving that advanced and intellectual beings don't have to speak with an European accent. What didn't even make sense, is that Chinese reactions in the background can be heard in Mandarin while the main cast speaks in English. I guess I credit the producers for trying, but even the reactions were typical American reactions directly translated to Chinese. Fine, forget the accent, what about the whole mess of a Qi thing. Qi doesn't mean superpower juice and the movie portrays that Ancient Chinese people just brought up Qi in every conversation. This is not California where aura or "negative/positive energy" is an explanation for everything. The whole toxic masculinity and sexist female roles in Chinese culture does exist but the movie overplayed it so much, they never showed how a lot of this stems from the idea of respect. I guess Disney was using this as a chance to try to make itself seem like "wow we support women" but they turned it up so much it was just cringey and just... bad. Speaking as a girl myself, it almost made me feel embarrassed to be a woman (or whatever). Not to mention, the movie was filmed in Xinjiang where Uighur Muslims are being oppressed and human rights are being violated. They even kissed-up to Xin Jiang in the credits which led to a whole new wave of BoycottMulan hashtags floating everywhere (rightfully so). Let's not even get into Liu Yifei, an American citizen, supporting the police brutality Hong Kong police officers performed on protesters demanding democracy (also rightfully so). But in terms of culturally cringiness, I really can't blame them, how culturally accurate can they be when the directer isn't Asian or Chinese?? I got second hand embarrassment when the director Niki Caro explained that her being a white-director directing an ancient Chinese movie was okay because "there's another culture at play here, which is the culture of Disney". I- I don't even know how to respond to that because the wave of stupidity flowing throughout that sentence knocked me out for a second. Disney is a brand, Chinese culture is a result of thousands of years of history, traditions, suffering, and prosperity, and she wants to compare that to Mickey Mouse and Sophia the First (don't get me wrong, I love both). 

Okay fine, perhaps you don't care about Chinese culture, the violation of human rights, and the fight for democracy. Sure. But let's talk about the movie as a whole, the plot, the details, the exchange of dialogue, the relationships, even the cinematography (which I know absolutely nothing about). Okay how do I put this, the movie reminded me of something I would make with my friends for a seventh grade project where I would cry looking back on. One of the beginning scenes where a young Mulan is chasing a chicken across the village (just rereading this sentence makes me second-doubt whether I watched a movie or if it was one of my more elaborate dreams). The whole set looks like my brother made it with popsicle sticks, colored it brown with crayola markers, and filled the rest with clashing colors of hot pink, yellow, and red. Even when I first watched the trailer, I was concerned about the color scheme, who knew my eyes would be in for such a crazy ride when I would go on to watch the movie (honestly just to tell my parents about it). Anyways, the set is just a mess, later on the filming strategies (like I said I know nothing about this) was just so awkward. I really don't know how to explain this, but everything just seems really bright and photoshopped? Okay moving on to the dialogue. I don't really know what they were going for here, like formal english or something? But whenever the characters like Honghui said something like "very well" I felt like throwing up. You get the feeling, I can't quote everything exactly correct, but it was all like "As you wish" and awkward stuff like that. Okay, now lets talk about how nothing makes sense... like at all? We already talked about how Mulan apparently has superpowers, but the whole witch thing (or as the lady would say "I'm NOT a WITCH!") just took common sense, logic, and whipped it out the window. So she just has these powers like turning into a bird and bewitching people, teleporting, and one thing I don't get, is just why she existed as a character? Disney didn't put Mushu in (which I was lowkey upset about) because it wasn't part of the original story... well neither was a flying bird witch? Okay but besides that, the first battle scene between the Rourans and the Chinese just didnt. make. any. sense. So first Mulan goes out with a few other soldiers to fight the Rourans, the Chinese shoot their arrows, and a bunch of Rourans collapse, causing them to retreat. As they retreat, the Rourans flip over on their horses (reminds me of auto-pilot) and shoot back while their horses continue to run away, because of this counter attack, almost all of Mulan's fellow soldiers die while a few retreat. Mulan alone then follows the retreating Rourans to an isolated weird brown ice thing as the rest of the Chinese army and Rourans continue to battle. Okay... what?? So first of all, why would the Rourans retreat after a few arrows, if they themselves had arrows all along? When they saw all the arrows coming, they could have just shot their arrows then, instead of waiting till many men die and then shooting. Okay second of all, why on earth would they retreat if the rest of their army is still fighting? So let's say the original Rouran group Mulan was fighting was 10% of the whole army. Eventually, 75% of that group alone dies. So the remaining 25% flee to far off, when an entire 90% of the army just stays there to fight the Chinese. And also, how did all of Mulan's Left Flank group (the group she came out to fight with) die so quickly by a few arrows? Plus, how come Mulan alone was allowed to just follow the retreating soldiers to far-off? Are there no rules, or plans ...or something? Okay there's just so much more that's wrong with the movie but I'm tired of writing and I should probably go finish my homework. Just know, all of the movie is problematic, Liu Yifei, the location, the camera work, the set, and simply, the quality. Work harder Disney, oh sorry, did I offend your culture?